My latest peeve

Contemporary child narrators that use "who" and "whom" correctly. Especially kids 12 and under. Not bloody likely.

Hunting for a Twilight post

Sometime in the last couple months, I noodled my way to a blog that happened to feature a Twilight snark-a-thon: the dedicated blogger had compiled an astonishing count of how many times Edward sparkled, how many times Bella sighed at the thought of Edward, how many times Edward is compared to sculpture and/or marble, and so forth.

There are a couple people I'd like to share the inevitable giggles with -- one an ardent Twilight fan and one NOT -- but I'll be darned if I can remember where I found it.

Anybody got a clue?

State of the TBR pile

Finished:

The Bone Magician, by F.E. Higgins

The Beef Princess of Practical County, by Michelle Houts

Harriet the Spy, by Louise Fitzhugh (audio)

The Bear Makers, by Andrea Cheng

Mouse Guard: Fall 1152, by David Petersen

Options for next week:

The Unnameables, by Ellen Booraem

Freeze Frame, by Heidi Ayarbe

The Love Curse of the Rumbaughs, by Jack Gantos

The Tenderness of Wolves, by Stef Penney

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Currently reading:

Freeze Frame
by Heidi Ayarbe

The upshot of technology

Now that the Unfortunate Photobucket Affair is over (for the time being) it's time to do some long overdue showing off. Remeber that French Romanov book I was fussing about being unable to read? I was being a trifle over-dramatic. Because, ta-daa, I got THIS for Christmas:

IRISPen Translator

All I do is swipe this little do-jiggy over your text like a hilighter, and it scans and/or translates on the spot. The bugger recognizes 128 different languages, and can instantly translate 11 language pairs, including French and -- get this -- Russian.

This is me on Christmas morning, expressing my amazement with a phrase I don't care to repeat in a public arena:

(My parents were smart enough to hold this gift until the last, as the present opening ground to an absolute halt once I started messing with the wonder-gizmo.)

And here I am on December 26th, bent over one of my formerly mysterious Russian sources:


Once you get the hang of it, the thing really works. Since Christmas, I've scanned and translated Aleksei Nikolaevich Romanov's entire 1916 diary and browsed through all sorts of random tidbits. With sans-serif text in particular, the scanning accuracy is dead-on. Yeah, it's a machine, so the translations are often grammatically amusing, but if you've got half a clue about the language you're dealing with, it saves oodles of dictionary time. Not to mention the tedium of learning to type in a foreign alphabet. (Which is why Mom said "Ahem!" to my boo-hoo-I-don't-know-French post.)

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Currently reading:

The Bear Makers

by Andrea Cheng

Poetry Friday

Visit Fuse #8 for this week's installment of Poetry Friday. I can't top Betsy's pick.

Look away!

Oh, isn't this charming? I've officially exceeded my Photobucket bandwidth, which makes this place look tacky as all get-out.

On the plus side, if Casey's hunch is right and some little wienerschnitzel's been sucking up my bandwidth by direct-linking to my photos, their site will also be looking uber tacky until Saturday at midnight. Heh. If I get to feeling really vindictive, I could stalk around the web hunting for Romanov fansites with big old "bandwidth exceeded" banners where the photos ought to be. Or maybe I'll just sit here and pout.

For some reason, the Photobucket account that I use to upload all my book covers and Romanov images has gotten over 500,000 hits this month. Consequently, I am dangerously close to exceeding my monthly bandwidth allowance. So it's very likely that a big chunk of my images on the blog may turn into those generic this-image-is-hosted-by-a-cheapskate-bandwidth-hog-who's-exceeded-her-limit graphics sometime between now and Saturday morning, when the monthly count will reset.

[Insert embarrassment, cringing, and profuse apologies here]

For the bargain price of $39.95 a year, I can avoid this whole issue entirely. Or I can do things like stop uploading such ginormous jacket art images and upload more of my photos directly to Blogger. You can probably guess which one I'm choosing -- for the moment, anyway. For all I know, this month's usage is a random fluke. I'll be keeping an eye out.

Book karma

I have been lusting after this book for at least three years:

The Tsarevich, child martyr

by Princess Eugenie of Greece

It's a biography of Aleksei Nikolaevich Romanov, heir to the Russian throne, including his last diary and a passel of rare letters exchanged by the imperial family in April and May of 1918. Thanks to a kind soul in Austria, I've had access to photocopies of the juciest bits since 2006, but I still wanted a full copy all my own. Trouble was, every time one surfaced, it was upwards of $40, plus overseas shipping. Then lo and behold, in a moment of idleness last Friday I logged onto bookfinder.com and there was a copy for sale in Pennsylvania for ELEVEN DOLLARS. I pounced, and now it's mine, all mine!

There's just one problem: I don't know French.

On the plus side, I seem to have a knack for inadvertently stumbling across killer deals on impossible-to-find books, so at least I don't end up paying a truckload for books I can't even read. Next in my crosshairs:

The Tsar's Children, by Nina Bonetskaya

Sorrowful Angel, by Sergey Fomin

Because Kirby Larson has "a thing for charming quilts"

The centerpiece of my bulletin board is a miniature quilt, handmade for me about 20 years ago by a good friend who used to live across the street. (The same neighbor lady, incidentally, who introduced me to Magic Elizabeth.) I think this was my first birthday or Christmas gift after they moved to Florida. Honestly, at age 10 I don't think I really realized what I was getting -- even though Mrs. Smith's teensy masterpiece had already won first prize at a quilt show before shipping it up to grace my doll bed -- but now I look at that piece of work and think, Oh my God! Can you imagine doing all that work and giving it away?

Romeo Book Club

May 5, 1896

Second from the right in the second row is a Miss Kezar, whose family would donate the land for the Romeo Library some 14 years later. Thank you very much, Miss Kezar.

State of the TBR pile

Finished:

Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell

The Giver, by Lois Lowry (audio)

Next:

The Bone Magician, by F.E. Higgins

The Beef Princess of Practical County, by Michelle Houts

Harriet the Spy, by Louise Fitzhugh (audio)

Miniature home improvements

Last time you saw the Wendy house, it looked like this.

Since then, I've been puttering with flea market furniture and cozy things like primer and wood filler and CARPET:

It's not fancy-schmantzy carpet, but you Greenies will be pleased to know that my floor covering represents 100 plastic pop bottles that are not in a landfill. I don't recall ever being this pleased over recycled plastic before.

Also, there is a twin-size air mattress in the loft instead of a vaguely rectangular heap of pillows and blankets:

Next on my list is some wiring. Draping that old orange extension cord across the lawn for another summer strikes me as less than ideal. Also thinking about insulating the ceiling -- maybe some sheets of foam board covered in fabric so I can keep that rafter-y look and avoid messing with fiberglass and paneling. White or pale blue, do you think? (Either one beats particle board.)

Poetry Friday

Weekend Glory

Some clichty folks
don't know the facts,
posin' and preenin'
and puttin' on acts,
stretchin' their backs.

They move into condos
up over the ranks,
pawn their souls
to the local banks.
Buying big cars
they can't afford,
ridin' around town
actin' bored.

If they want to learn how to live life right
they ought to study me on Saturday night.

My job at the plant
ain't the biggest bet,
but I pay my bills
and stay out of debt.
I get my hair done
for my own self's sake,
so I don't have to pick
and I don't have to rake.

Take the church money out
and head cross town
to my friend girl's house
where we plan our round.
We meet our men and go to a joint
where the music is blue
and to the point.

Folks write about me.
They just can't see
how I work all week
at the factory.
Then get spruced up
and laugh and dance
And turn away from worry
with sassy glance.

They accuse me of livin'
from day to day,
but who are they kiddin'?
So are they.

My life ain't heaven
but it sure ain't hell.
I'm not on top
but I call it swell
if I'm able to work
and get paid right
and have the luck to be Black
on a Saturday night.

~ Maya Angelou

THIS FULL HOUSE, by Virginia Euwer Wolff

THIS FULL HOUSE
by Virginia Euwer Wolff

(Harper)

I cannot tell you how long it's been since I read Make Lemonade or True Believer. However, I can tell you it DOESN'T MATTER. This finale to the trilogy will zoom you right back into LaVaughn's world, and even if you don't remember all the details that came before, you will instantly remember how these characters made you feel. Plus, they are all of them trying so, so hard that you can't look away - even if you happen to be feverish and in need of a nap, as I was.

As for what happens? I've heard a reliable rumor that the author is spoiler-sensitive. And holy crap, no wonder. You will discover more about some of these characters than you ever thought to ponder. (Except for what race they are, of course. Clever author!) So much so, that I'm dying to know if Virginia Euwer Wolff had this plot in mind all along or if it revealed itself to her piecemeal. I'm not sure which would be more impressive.

And the cover - what a teaser! (Though you have to see the spine and the flap to know why.)

OTMA update

I have neglected to mention a couple Items of Note:

1. I have an editor again. Yes ma'am, a real live editor of my very own. This editor, it just so happens, was at the acquisitions meeting where OTMA was first pitched and given the go-ahead, and is gung-ho for the project. Plus, she's a fan of War and Peace. This bodes well, indeed.

Madame Editor, as it turns out, has something of a WIP of her own going on -- she's slated for maternity leave in May. Therefore, we concocted a plan whereby I turn over a draft, no matter its condition, on April 1 so we can squeeze in some feedback for me to revise with during her 3-month departure.

2. Fast-forward to the first week in March, when I got a sinus infection that leeched a full workweek out of me, forcing me to admit that I would never be able to revise OTMA to my satisfaction by April 1. This brings us to Plan B:

Rather than panic and scrabble for the next two weeks only to be marginally less unsatisfied with my progress, I offered to gag my inner Rainman and send Madame Editor what I've got RIGHT NOW so we can make the most of the remaining six weeks before her leave. She took the bait (the crazy woman claims to like rough drafts) and I didn't chicken out. Yesterday afternoon, I closed my eyes and hit "send."

So in a sense, I'm on OTMA-haitus. Except for the part where I do fun things like translate primary sources and work on my compilation of self-editorial remarks to add to Madame Editor's reactions....

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Currently reading:

Blink

by Malcolm Gladwell

Useless fact of the day

Did you know...

The spines of American and British books have lettering that runs from top to bottom, which means you tilt your head to the right to read the titles:

While the spines of (most) Russian books run from bottom to top. Apparently Russians prefer to tilt toward the left when reading bookshelves:

(If you don't know Russian, just trust me -- it's marginally easier to read if you lean left.)

Are you obsessive/observant/bored enough to spot the three exceptions in the English batch? All of them were published overseas, in conjunction with Russian or German archival collections. Incidentally, Germans print their spines the same way Russians do:

(But if you've spotted the pair of Russian exceptions, don't ask. I have NO idea...)

Now, in case you haven't found this cultural publishing quirk interesting yet, consider this:

If you stack a batch of left-leaning books on a table with their covers pointing at the ceiling -- the way most of us stack our books -- you have to stand on your head to read the spines:

Kooky, huh?

State of the TBR pile

Finished:

100 Days and 99 Nights, by Alan Madison

The Tipping Point, by Malcolm Gladwell

Next:

Blink, by Malcolm Gladwell

In Mozart's Shadow, by Carolyn Meyer

Show of Hands

How many of you are going to disown me when I admit that I've abandoned Terry Pratchett's Nation after 84 pages?

In my defense, I'm a great big fan of The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents. Also, I've been sick. I might not be back in my right mind yet.

If you ask me, Pratchett's at his best when he's writing snippy dialogue loaded with more italics than any human being has a right to.

Poetry Friday

Politeness

If people ask me,
I always tell them:
"Quite well, thank you, I'm very glad to say."
If people ask me,
I always answer,
"Quite well, thank you, how are you to-day?"
I always answer,
I always tell them,
If they ask me
Politely.....
BUT SOMETIMES

I wish

That they wouldn't.

~A.A. Milne

I asked for a big mug of water...

...and this is what I got:

Clearly I am not the only smartypants in this house.

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Currently reading:

100 Days and 99 Nights

by Alan Madison

CROWS & CARDS, by Joseph Helgerson

CROWS & CARDS
by Joseph Helgerson

(Houghton Mifflin)

Short version: Love the cover? Then read the book - the innards don't disappoint.

Long version: Take the premise of A Drowned Maiden's Hair, substitute a den of riverboat gamblers for the old-lady spiritualists, and you'll have a taste of the flavor of Crows and Cards. Unlike Maud from DMH, there's no question our hero's a naive, but Zeb stops shy of being a total noodlehead, and he's got spunk to boot. Even if he's mostly a chicken. Complicate things with a blind Indian chief with a gift for visions, a slave with a propensity for burning three meals a day, a medicine show, and an Indian princess, and you've got yourself an adventure Tom Sawyer'd be proud of.

Aside: Part of me halfway expected Chilly, with his flimflam schemes and notions of grandeur, to turn out to be the King or the Duke from Huckleberry Finn. No such luck, but it's a fun ride nonetheless.

(Available in April)

State of the TBR pile

Finished:

Crows and Cards, by Joseph Helgerson

The Year the Swallows Came Early, by Kathryn Fitzmaurice

The Fetch, by Laura Whitcomb

This Full House, by Virginia Euwer Wolff

Outliers: The Story of Success, by Malcolm Gladwell

Next week? No clue. Let's call it Library Roulette.

***************
Currently reading:

Nation
by Terry Pratchett

THE FETCH, by Laura Whitcomb

THE FETCH
by Laura Whitcomb

(Houghton Mifflin)

Here I am, a card-carrying Romanov Fiction Nitpicker. For years I've been studying every accessible cranny of these people's lives right down to their carpeting, which makes me virtually impossible to please when it comes to the myriad details of setting, wardrobe, and personality. It's petty, but just a peek at one misidentified photo can start me off in an imperial snit.

And yet this plot (which you can fill yourself in on here) intrigued me enough to squelch my internal flub meter. Also, while the main character, Calder, doesn't recognize the significance of some of the Romanov family scenes he witnesses early on, I sure did, and they gave me the willies - in a good way. Despite my quibbles, I wanted to know what happens - or more precisely, how it happens. Make no mistake, this is purely fantasy, but I don't think I've seen another novel tackle so many aspects of the Romanov/Rasputin mythology, and all without falling back on tired old survival theories. Extra bonus points for working in a role for the oft-forgetten sailor, Nagorny.

Sample the first chapter here.

Poetry Friday

Grapefruit
Don't be sorry, ma'am, be grateful,
was what the ragged man said
when I breathed Sorry and kept walking
as he stood on the corner for spare change.
He was bearded, wrapped
in blankets, night and rain.

That was the fall. But it comes back
like a tide, with ordinary things -
This sun. Shoes. A spoonful
of red grapefruit, out of season.
One more thing to give thanks for,
the sweetness and the sting of it,
even as the sweetness slides on down.

~Jessie Brown

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Currently reading:

The Fetch
by Laura Whitcomb

IF I STAY, by Gayle Forman

IF I STAY
by Gayle Forman

(Dutton)

Hallmarks of a page-turner:

1. A striking premise
(After a catastrophic highway accident, Mia's body lies in a coma while her spirit/essence/consciousness roams the hospital, watching her friends and relatives react -- until she realizes her survival is not in the doctors' hands.)

2. Suspense
(Scenes alternate between the ICU and Mia's memories until you can't choose whether you prefer the compelling present or the absorbing past.)

3. Invisible writing
(Writing that doesn't call attention to itself, that lets you forget you're even reading so you can just live the story.)

For good measure, toss in some potent personalities twining into ardent connections, and ka-bam. That's one tasty piece of reading.

(Available in April)